너무 웃겨서 공유하려고 ㅋㅋㅋ 올립니다 

1. 장동건 실물을봤는데 '흠.. 그냥그렇네' 생각하면서 옆자리에있는 남친봤는데 웬 오징어가 팝콘을 먹고있었다고 


2. 신종플루로 조퇴 한 번 해보겠다고ㅋㅋ 드라이기로 귀 데피고 양호실가서 체온 쟀더니 80도 나왔다던 고등학생 
 

3. 어떤 님이 남친이랑 있는데 너무너무 방구가 나올 것 같아서  "사랑해!!"  큰 소리로 외치며 방구를 뿡 뀌게 됐는데 남친이 하는 말이 "뭐라고? 방구 소리때문에 못들었어


4. 친구한테 민토앞에서 보자고 했더니 민병철 토익학원 앞에 서있었다는 얘ㄱㅣㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  

 

5. 공원에서 운동하고 있는데 저멀리 곧휴를 내놓은 남자가 뛰어오길래 긴장탔는데 가까이서 보니까 
허리에 줄넘기를 묶고 조깅을 하고 있더란 그 얘기  

 

6. 눈작은 친구랑 같이 스티커 사진 찍었는데 잡티제거 기능 누르니까 그 친구 눈 사라졌다고 했던 얘기ㅋㅋㅋ 

 

7. 누가 버스 탔는데 자리가 없어서 서있는데 너무 힘들어서 혼잣말로 '앉고싶다 앉고싶다 앉고싶다' 생각하면서 중얼거리다가 버스가 갑자기 급정거해서 앞에 앉은 할아버지 귀에다가 '앉 고 싶 다'라고 속삭인거ㅋㅋ 

 

8. 주유소에 알바하는 남자중에 괜찮은 사람 있어서 눈도장 찍을라고 매일 휘발유 1L씩 사갔는데 어느날 그 동네에 연쇄 방화사건이나서 경찰들이 조사하러 다니는데 그 알바생이 경찰한테 그 여자 말해서 1차용의자로 지목된거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  

 

9. 친구랑 북한말투 원래 잘따라하면서 노는데 그날도 버스에서 동무 날래 와보라우 이러면서 어깨좀 주물러 보래. 뭐 씨원하게 안주물리면 내래 이 엽총으로 쏴버리갔어. 이러고 품에 손넣어서 총꺼내는척 하면서  친구 봤는데 친구는 햇빛 피해서 다른 의자에 있었고 뒤에 모르는 남중생이 울면서 저한테 왜이러세요 하면서  어깨 주물르고 있었던거  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 

10. 빵집에 망토입고 갔다가 팔없는 애인줄 알고 빵집 주인이 빵봉지 줄에 묶어서 그 분 목에 걸어준거
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 아니라고 말하기도 좀 그래서 빵집 문 어깨로 밀고 나온거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  

 

11. 어떤 분이 지하철 타고 가는데 앞쪽에 커플이 앉아 있었대긔. 여자가 애교 존트 섞어서 코맹맹이 소리로 "자기야~~ 나 파마머리 한거 오때? 별로 안 어울리는 거 같징 ㅠㅠ " 이랬는데 남자가 "넌 생머리도 안 어울려" 사람들은 빵터지고 

 

12. 어떤 님이 코 성형하러 갔는데 수술할 때 꼭 잠들게 해달라고 했는데 의사가 안 해주고 암튼 몽롱하지만  의식이 있는 상태. 그래서 그거 안 해줬다고 의사한테 " 너 날 속였어 " 이러고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 의사가 중간에 전화 받으러 나가려고 하니까 " 너 내 코에 집중안해 ?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 중간중간 "화이팅,화이팅"  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 

 

13. 신혼부부가 늦은 밤에 위에 작은 뚜껑만 열리는 렌트카 타고 가는데 신부가 그 뚜껑 열고 머리만 쏙 내밀고 가고 있었는데 길가에 노부부가 손을 마구 흔들길래 차 멈췄더니 갑자기 놀래시면서 미안하다고 그냥 가던길 가라고 택신 줄 알았다고..ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  

 

14. 좀 전 어느 글에서 본건데 동물다큐프로에서 엄청 큰 상어 나오니까 보고 계시던 할머니가 "저게 고래냐 상어냐~"  하셨는데 그 순간 다큐 성우가 "저것은 고래상어다."ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  

 

15. 지하철에서 누가 방구를 꼈는데 냄새가 너무 독해서 옆친구한테 이건 그냥 방귀가 아니고 똥방구다  막 소리쳤는데 친구가 문자로 나니까 닥쳐 한거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 

 

16. 이거 어디서 본건데 버스안에 어떤 남고생들이 타더니 갑자기 카드찍기전에 멈추더니 사람들이 뭐지하고 조용히 있으니까 갑자기 "내가 누구냐" 이러고 카드 찍으니까 "학생 입니다"  나온ㄱㅓㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 자매품으로 환승하고 "내가 무얼하고있느냐" 하고 카드찍으니 "환승 입니다 
 
17. 아버지가 아들에게 찌질이가 뭐냐고 물어보셔서 촌스럽고 덜떨어진 사람을 말한다고 말씀드렸대요 근데 어느날 아버지핸드폰을 우연히 봤는데 자기랑 자기형이 "찌질이1" "찌질이2" 라고 저장되어있더래요ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
 
18. 어떤 분이 엄마랑 배스킨 라빈스를 갔대요. 가서 점원한테 "엄마는 외계인 주세요" 그랬는데 뒤에 있던 엄마가 엄마는 됐다니까!!" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 엄마 설레발 작렬
 
19. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ도미노 인터넷 주문할때 기타사항에 메모칸 있잖아요 친구랑 장난식으로 그 메모란에 
 배달올때 공주님 나와주세요라고 해달라고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 알바생이 배달와서는  수줍게 공주님 나와주세요라고 했데욜  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 그러면서 알바생이 애드립으로 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ피자놓고 나갈때 맛있게드세요  공주님ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
 
20. 가게 점원이 성경 읽고 있었나 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 암튼 너무 긴장해서 손님 들어오는데 "어서오소서" 한거
 
21. 채팅하는데 14살짜리 꼬마가 님 시간있으세요? 그래서 왜요? 이랬는데 아껴쓰세요 하고 나가버린거 
 
22. 어떤 님이 아부지 핸드폰 사셨을때 자기 이름 "이쁜 딸♡" 로 저장해 놓으셨대긔 근데 며칠 있다가 아버지 폰 확인해보니 그냥 '딸'로 바뀌어 있었다고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  

23. 소독차와 그 뒤를 쫓는 초딩들이 보이길래 추억에 젖고 싶어서 애들 사이에 껴서 같이 와아아 하면서 뛰다가  점점 걸음을 늦췄는데 뿌연 연기 너머로 자길 멍하게 지켜보고 있는 구남친
 
24. 어떤 분이 빨간 코트에 까만 어그 신고 나가니까 남친이 "너 영의정 같다" 한거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
25. 영화관에서 친구랑 영화보다가 배아파서 잠깐 화장실갔다가 자리로돌아와서 친구귀에다 대고 나 똥 2키로 쌌따" 이랬더니 알고보니 친구가 아니고 어떤아저씨 ㅋㅋ 아저씨왈 "수고하셨어요" ㅋㅋ

26. 컬투라디오 mp3에 넣고 명동걷다가 너무 웃겨서 무릎꿇은거 
 
27. 어떤님이 캔모아에서 빙수먹으려는데 선배한텐가" **아 지금 모해?"이렇게 문자와서
"아 오빠~ 저 캔모아 빙수 먹으려고요 ^^"이렇게 답장 보냈는데 "**이는 참 알뜰하구나 ^^"하고 답장온거  
 
28. 어떤 님 술취해서 휴학신청한거ㅋㅋㅋ  
 
29. 건데ㅋㅋ어떤 분 아버지가 머리가 좀 벗겨지셨는데 소파에서 이불을 머리 끝까지 덮고 주무시고 계셨는데  그 분 친구가 집에 놀러온거ㄱㅢㅋㅋ거실 지나서 방에 들어가는데 그 친구가 소파 가르키면서 "근데 저 갓난애기는 누구야??" 했따는거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
30. 어떤 님이 아빠 오는 소리에 얼른 자는 척 했는데 술 취한 아빠가 그 님 자는 줄 알고 머리 쓰다듬으면서 "우리 **이....이렇게 못생겨서 시집은 어떻게 가누,,,,,???" 하고 목놓아 우셨다는 거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
그 님은 소리없이 눈물로 베개를 적셨다고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
31. 라디오사연이었나ㅋㅋㅋ어떤분이 치킨을 시켰는데 수중에 돈이 없었던거닭ㅋㅋ 근데 치킨은 이미 도착을 했고.....그님은 당황한 나머지 배달알바생에게  "나중에 뼈찾으러 올때 드릴게요"했다는ㄱㅓㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 근데 배달알바생이 "알겠습니다"하고 나갔다하긔ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ몇분뒤엔가 다시 찾아와서는 뼈는 안찾아간다고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 알고보니 알바생도 며칠전까지 중국집배달알바생이었다는거 ㅋㅋㅋ그래서 알바생도 헷갈렸었다는거 
 
32. 한참 카카오 99%초코렛 이거 유행할 때 어떤 분이 그거 한 알을 술드시고 주무시는 아버지 입에 넣어드렸대요.  ㅋㅋㅋ 근데 담날 아침 드시면서 아버지 하시는말 '이제 술을 끊어야겠어. 어젯밤엔 쓸개즙을 토했지 뭐야.'ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
33. 백화점에 탱크탑 사러가서 점원이 추천해준 탱크탑입고 나왔는데 뭔가 큰거긔,,, 헐렁헐렁,, 그래서 언니 사이즈 이거밖에 없어요? 하니까.. 점원이 어쩔줄 모르면서 하는말 .. 손님 죄송한데요.. 그거 치마예요.. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
 
34. 컬투쇼에서 들은건데 일본유학생이 일본에서 알바할때 사장님이 그분한테 브라자와 난데스까? 라고 물어보길래 브래지어 치수 물어보는줄 알고 그래 이게 일본의 문화니깐ㅋㅋㅋㅋ하고 나나쥬고(75)~ 라고 대답했는데 사장이 엄청 놀라면서 계속 되물었고  알고보니까 형제(브라더)가 몇이냐고 물어본ㄱㅓㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
35. 겨울날 어떤분이ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 길다가 포장마차에서 오뎅먹고 오뎅국물을 종이컵에 떠서 길에서 호호 불면서 마시다가 구남친을 만났는데 오뎅국물 들고있던 그 분을 아련하게 바라보던 구남친 왈  "여전히 커피 좋아하는구나 "
 
36. 어떤 다큐멘터리? 에서 나무늘보가 나무에서 떨어져서 강물에 휩쓸려 허우적대는 장면이 나왔대요.  그 장면에서 나레이션이 나오는데 '지금 저 나무늘보는 생애에서 가장 빨리 움직이고 있는 것입니다.'  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
37. 자기집 강아지가 옆집에서키우는 토끼를 물고왔는데 토끼가 흙투성이가된채로 죽어있었대 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 식겁해서 토끼 흙묻은거 깨끗하게 씻기구 옆집에 몰래 갖다놨는데 다음날 옆집사람왈  웬 미친놈이 죽어서 묻은 토끼를 씻겨놨다고  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
38. 그리고 어떤 분이 지하철에서 용자봤다고 글올린거 ㅋㅋ어떤 커플이 탔는데.. 마침 자리가 어떤 여자분을 기점으로 좌/우로 딱 한자리씩밖에 안났다고 그러더라구..  그래서 그 커플이 찢어져서 앉아서 가고있었는데 더 이상 안되겠던지가운데 앉으신 여자분께 자리비켜달라고 요청했더니 그 여자분이 "안돼 내겐 자비란 없다" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
39. 어떤님이 신종플루걸려서 집에서 쉬는데 친구가 핸드폰샀다고해서 무슨폰샀냐고 문자보냈더니 답문이 
 [아몰레드 니플루라메 갠찬?]이러고 왔대긔 네이버에서 계속 "아몰레드 니플루라메" 검색했다
 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ   
 
40. 또 컬투사연ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ사연자가 남친이랑 길거리 지나가는데 길바닥에 여자가 쓰러져있었다고 한닭ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ글서 이 여자 어떡하냐고 막 그럼서 다가가는데 포장마차에서 어떤남자가 나오면서  저리 꺼져!!!!!!하면서 소리쳤다한닭ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 어이가 없어있는데 알고보니 그 남자는 쓰러진 여자의 남친이었고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ여자는 술에취해 쓰러졌던거고ㅋㅋㅋ 부축해서 가다가 남자가 오뎅이 먹고싶어서 술취한 여친 길바닥에 냅두고 오뎅먹으러 들어갔다가 누군가 여친에게 접근하면 오뎅들고 나와서 꺼지라고 소리친거였음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
 
41. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ남자분들끼리 닭갈비집가서 소주마시면서 닭갈비먹다가 한명이 일어나서 화장실갔다오는데  옆 테이블에서 그분이 앞치마매고있는거보고 종업원인줄알고 이것좀 볶아달라고해서 그 분 화장실갔다오다말고 얼떨결에 술취한채로 그거 볶고있고ㅋㅋㅋㅋ친구들이 그거보고 저새끼 저거 지금 뭐해 이런거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
 
42. 지하철에서 ㅋㅋ 취객이 저쪽 칸부터 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 막 승객들한테 시비걸면서 오고있기래ㅋㅋ 사람들 전부 가슴졸이고 있었는데 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 취객이 이쪽으로 오는순간 신문 보던 할아버지가ㅋㅋ 지하철문이 열린순간 취객 밀어버린거 ㅋㅋ 그리고 다시 신문 펴서 읽으심 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
 
43. 첫데이트 날 우린 디아이 라는 공포영화를 봤고 ㅋㅋㅋ 영화중에 난 잠시 화장실 갔다온다고하고 화장실
갔다왔는데 그때가 긴장감 초고조 였을때라긔 ㅋㅋ 난 귓속말로 "나왔어" 이랬는데 남친이 팝콘 공중분해 시키고 "아아~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~악ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ고함죤내크게 질렀고ㅋ그덕분에 영화관에 있던사람들 다 고함
  지르고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ덕분에 진짜 무서운 그다음 장면은 아무도 고함을 안지르더이다 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ공포영화보면서 쪽팔리긴 처음 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

출처:http://pann.nate.com/b202594532