우왘ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

아니 오유양반 이게 어찌된 일이오
내글이 베오베라닠ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
내글이 베오베라니!!!!!!!!!!!ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
우와 기분째지네옄ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 이맛에 자료를 올리는군요

안녕하세여 오늘 전자발찌 찰번한 산적남입니다
헬스가따왔는데 동생년이 오유 베오베 보면서 낄낄대면서 저보라고 보여주는데 헐ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 

pc방에서 게임끝내도 화가 안풀려서 쓴ㅋ글ㅋ 인뎈ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 읽고 지오빠이야기인줄도몰곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㅄ같은년잌ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

하루종일 빡쳐있던거 급방끗해지네옄ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
오늘 삘받은김에 한개더 썰을 풀게옄ㅋㅋㅋ
편하게 음슴체로 가겠음욬ㅋㅋㅋ

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티비로도 많이 나왓고
누구나 한번쯤은 경험이있을거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

밤중에 여자는 앞에 걷고 남자는 뒤따라가는 걷는거ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
그리고 여자는 쫄고 남자는 어쩔줄 몰라하지...ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

내경우는 좀 심했음ㅡㅡ
존나 님들 밤중에 경찰차에 강제 납ㅋ치ㅋ 당해봤음?
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

아무튼 이제 그 속사정을 이야기해보겠음
갑자기 생각해보니 빡치네 시파ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ

일단 때는 내가 전역한지 얼마 안댔을때였음ㅋㅋ 대충 2년전ㅋㅋ
한달좀 안됏나? 아무튼 그쯤이였엇는데 그당시 난 잉여였엇음
한달전까지 우리나라의 국방을 지키는 대한민국 육군 병장이였었는데
하루아침에 말년병이라는 불치병을 얻은 환자가 댔음
다른말로 똥만드는기계, 이산화탄소 제조기라고도함ㅋ

아무튼 하루일과는 대충 숨쉬기운동, 먹고싸고
비슷한시기에 군대갔다가 비슷하게 전역한 개들의 생태보고서 작성하기가 주로였었음
물론 나도 개임ㅋ

만날때마다 서로 사료는 잘먹고있는가, 먹을건 없는가, 똥은 잘싸는가 하는 관찰일기였었음

그날도 동네 개들의 모임이 있던 날이였었음
해병대도 닥치고 특전사도 버로우타는 그유명한 내가나온부대가 슈퍼울트라빡센부대 니가나온부대는 개땡보부대다 배틀이 벌어졌었음

아무튼 1차로 원숭이가 되고 2차로 개가되어서 새벽2시인가 그쯤에 머리도 아프고
술도 많이 올라서 먼저 친구들한테 말하고 술자리에서 빠져나왔음ㅋㅋ

내가 사는동네가 날 닮아 밤이 되면 좀 어두컴컴 해짐
가로등따윈 없음ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
우리동네 주민들은 강함ㅋ 야밤의 치한변태따윈 역관광가능옄ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 

아무튼 밝든 어둡든 난 20년넘게 살아온동네라서 동네지리 마스터임ㅋ
골목길+우리집으로 가는 최단거리의 루트+길아닌 나만의 짐승의길까지 마스터했음ㅋ

동네술집에서 개들과 술먹고 구름과자먹으면서 혼자 설설설 집으로 걸어가고있는데~ 
몰랐는데 앞에 왠 여자분이 가는거임ㅋ

아무생각이 없었는데 군대막 전역한사람들은 알꺼임
다들 막전역하면 걸음 존나 빠르지않음? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 행군걸음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

여튼 아무생각없었는데 내가 존나 빨리 걸어가니까 앞에 여자도 덩달아 빨라지는거임ㅋ
그래서 그거보고 아ㅋ 이게 그 유명한ㅋ 골목길 뒤에따라오는 남자는 다변태설.txt
이게 그거구나 라는 생각이 드는거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

나는 생긴건 산적같이 생겼지만
양심에만 털이났지 마음에는 털이 안나있어서
뭐 이래된거 느슨하게 천천히 걸어가기로했음
그러다 그여자는 좀 멀어져서 안보이고
나는 우리집으로 가는 젤빠른 골목길로 빠졌는데 

그 골목길 빠질때쯤에 슈파 갑자기 헉하는 소리가 들리는거임ㅋ

헐ㅋ 그여자분인거임ㅋ 멍미?ㅋㅋ 하는데
후다다닥 빠른걸음으로 또 지나치는거임

아 놀랬겟네 하면서 다시 천천히 걸어가는데 그러는데 괜히 ㅅㅂ 기분이 나쁜거임
내가 해코지 하는것도아닌데ㅜㅜㅜㅅㅂ련이 ㅜㅜ 생긴게 다가 아니라고 ㅜㅜ

해치치 않아요
깨물지않아요
할퀴지도 않아요
그러니까 천천히 가도 괜찮아요ㅜㅜㅜ

라고 막 말해주고싶었는데 
그말 해주기도전에 후다다닥 가는거임

그냥 아 ㅅㅄㅄ 하면서 다시 집으로 가는 나만이 알고있는 루트로갔음


근데ㅋ

예상하신 분들은 예상했을꺼임ㅋ
그 루트로 나오는데 씨파ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
또 그여자가 오는거얔ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
아옼ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ㅅㅂ 저련은 이새벽에 잠도 쳐없나
어디로 가는거야 도데쳌ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

근데 이번엔 비명 지르면서 달리네?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
카람카려쿄오오오오오오!!!! 변태아아앙아아아아앙아아아악!!!!!!!!
구라가아니고 여자 비명소리가 ㅅ발음 그러니까 th 발음이 안된다는걸 그때 처음알았음ㅋㅋㅋ
아님 그여자만 그런가?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

아옼ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
일단 존나 깜놀했음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

그때가 새벽2시인가 그랬었는데
동네사람들이 대부분 오래살아서 거의다 아는데
동네사람들 다깨고 이상한 소문날까봐 아가씨 조용히해요!!! 저 변퇘아니에여ㅜㅜㅜㅜ 하고 소리지르면서
하면서 입막으러 존나게 뛰어갓음
솔직히 지금 생각하면 나는 반대로 소리지르면서 도망갓어야했음ㅜㅜㅜㅜ

술김에 수습하려한 내가 미ㅋ친ㅋ 놈이였었음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
실수엿음 ㅜㅜ

뭐 도망갈줄은 알았지만 솔직히ㅋㅋ 금방따라잡을줄알았거든ㅋ
그랬는데 이여자가 달리다가 신발이 벗겨졌는데 우와 ㅋㅋ 이제 잡겠다생각을 했었음
올타꾸나~ 오해를 풀자꾸나!! 했는데
그래도 달리는거임ㅋ

근데 신발이 벗겨지니까 이년ㅋㅋㅋ 우사인볼트 강ㅋ림ㅋ

내가 술먹어서 달리기가 느려졌다해도
존나 빨랐음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
진짜 우사인볼트의 할아버지가와도 그여자 못잡았을거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

달린지 10초도 안됏을텐데 갑자기 술먹고 뛰어서그런가
오바이트가 확쏠리는거임ㅋ

엎어지면서 골목길 한가운데서 한몇분간 우에에에엑ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
하고있으니까 동네주민들 몇명이 자다 뛰어나옴ㅋ

길한가운데서 토하고있는데 사람들이 몇명나오면서 날 둘러싸는데
기분이 어떤지암?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

시팤ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 개변태새끼로 몰리는데 그런거아니라고 ㅜㅜㅜ
진짜 제이야기좀 들어달라고 ㅜㅜㅜ 막 이랫음

아오씨발ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
내가생각해도 야밤에 잘자다가 살려주세요! 변태야! 소리들었는데 나가보니
왠 산적같은 곰새끼가 길한가운데서 토하고있으면 오해하겠음ㅜㅜ

아무튼 막 아니라고 오해라고ㅜㅜㅜㅜ 시발
내말좀 들어달라고ㅜㅜㅜ 생긴건이래도 속은 하얗다못해서 표백제 가루로 쓸수있는 수준이라고ㅜㅜㅜ
막 실랑이를 벌이고있는데 ㅋ 멀리서 뭔가 번쩍번쩍하는거임ㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
경찰차가 뜬거임
와 존나 나 진짜 그때 진심으로 우리나라 경찰 출동 10분안에 되는거 처음봤음
뭐 어벙벙하는데 무전기로 순마어쩌고저쩌고 나불나불하더니 일단 서로 같이 가자는거임ㅋ
장난해?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 일단 타고가는데 별의 별 생각이 다드는거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 나는 누구? 여긴 어디? 

아버지, 어머니 죄송합니다
23살 산적같은 아들래미 호적에 빨간줄 끄이고 인생퇴갤이네염ㅋ 시발ㅋ

아무튼 파출소? 뭐 가있으니까 다짜고짜 이름이랑 나이묻고 사는데 묻고 신분증확인하는데
시팤ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 장난하냐곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
범죄자로몰아가 이 짭새새퀴들잌ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
시팤ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 그후에 알바하면서 돈존나게 모았는데 진심성형할려고 돈모아았었음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

근데 피해자도 없는데 왜 다짜고짜 납치해서 시파 나는 아니라고 ㅜㅜㅜ 선량한 시민이라고 엉엉 울면서 이야기했는데 뭐 데리러올사람이 필요하다는거임 ㅜㅜ
아 부모님 이새벽에 깨웠다간 시망인거임 내인생 퇴갤하기보다 부모님한테 죄송스러워서 머리박고 죽을지도모름ㅜㅜ 막 혼자서 끙끙대고있는데

근데 좀 지나니까 화장다번져서 팬더된 이상한 여자랑 같이 술마시던 개(친구)랑 같이 오는거임
멍미? 너네 여기왜오냐? 하고 그 개도 너이새끼 여기 왜있냐? 라고하니까 
알고봤더니 이래된거임ㅡㅡ

자 정리하면

1. 나랑 개1이 빡센부대 토론 배틀을 하고있을동안 개1은 전역하고 만난 새여친느님을 만난다고 술자리에서 퇴갤함ㅋ

2. 나는 다른 개들이랑ㅋㅋ 같이 계속해서 토론배틀을 함ㅋ

3. 개1은 지여친님이랑 만나서 다시 술자리로옴ㅋ

4. 근데 나는 그때 머리아파서 술자리에서 일찍 퇴갤했었음ㅋ

5. 그 개1의 여친님이랑 우리집이랑 얼마 차이안났음ㅋ


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경찰관 어이없어함ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
여자도 쪽팔려+미안해 주글라고함

지어낸거아님
이거 우리동네에서 존나 유명한 이야기임-_- 시발
동네 슈퍼가면 주인아줌마가 이제 오바이트 안하냐고 개드립침ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
내 어이없는 일중의 베스트3안에 들어감ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
나 근데 지금 사실 좀 부끄러운게 오유에서 동네사람 만날까봐 부끄러움ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
동네사람만나면 글삭제해야짘ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ps. 시발 새벽에 길거리에서 오바이트한거 다시 경찰차 다고 되돌아가서 치우고 집에감
존나 더러웟음 ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ

ps.2 근데 그게 돌고돌고돌아서 아버지귀에 들어갔음 
군대전역하고 어른대접받다 한달만에 시궁창으로 쳐박혔음 ㅜㅜ

ps.3 개1의 여자친구님은 지금 깨ㅋ졌ㅋ음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ps.4 반응좋으면 몇개 더올림ㅋㅋㅋㅋ