B급 연예인 홍석천입니다, 석천이 일기장~ 2005-01-21 오전 5:33:51 



우선 슬픈연가를 사랑해주시는 많은 팬들께 진심으로 감사드립니다,,언제나 처럼 열심히 최선을 다해 촬영하고 돌아왓습니다,,양수리 세트장에서 이 늦은밤까지 추위와,졸음을 쫒으며 한장면 한장면,,마흔명이 넘는 식구들과 좋은 작품을 만들자는 일념 하나로 카메라앞에 섭니다,, 

그러나 오늘은 모두들 좀 특별한 느낌이더군요..지금 연예계를 벌집 쑤셔놓은듯 핫이슈가 되고잇는 파일 하나때문에 사랑하는 우리 주인공들이 너무 많이 상처나잇어여,,동료로서 또 한살이라도 나이먹은 형 오빠로서 어떻게 위로해야할지 막막 햇습니다 솔직히,,,근데 의외로 많은 식구들이 걱정할까봐 더 밝은 모습을 보여주려는 상우와 희선이를 보면서 ..또 농담도 섞어가며 촬영장 분위기를 밝게 가려는 스텝들을 보면서,,아,,이런게 동료애고 한식구라는 생각과 더불어 연예계라는곳도 역시 사람 냄새 나는 곳이구나 하는 생각이 들엇답니다,,,사실,,저도 그파일을 봣습니다,,하도 믿기지않은 이야기이기에 제눈으로 확인하고 싶어서죠..여러분도 그랫겟지만 저또한 적잖이 충격을 받앗습니다,,그들의 언어구사력이 정말 교육을 받은 지성인의 수준인가부터 그런것을 만들어 참고를 한다는 그사실 자체가 참으로 슬프고 한심스러웟습니다,,그게 뭡니까,,확인되지 않은 그 많은 루머들을 마치 사실인양,,휘갈겨놓다뇨,,너무 뻔뻔한거 아닙니까..?...사실,거짓을 떠나 모든세상사가 그렇듯,,한다리 건너면 소문에 소문이 더해져 별 이상한 얘기들로 변질되듯이,,연예계의 루머들은 정말 너무 쉽게 빠르게 그리고 철저히 독하게 변질되죠,,제 예를 들어볼가여?. 

첫째,, 제 커밍아웃은 제 자발적의도가 아니라 어느 기자에게 들켜서 어쩔수 업이 한거다,,아니엇습니다,,제가 미쳣습니까,,인기와 돈 명예를 그렇게 의미업이 포기하다뇨,,만약 어느 기자에게 들켯다면 그사람에게 전재산을 주고라도 막앗겟죠,,,또 벌면 되잔습니까,,근데 많은 보도를 통해 제가 아웃팅 당햇다고 나갓죠..사실이 아닙니다,,제 스스로의 의지와 판단에 의한 행동입니다 

둘째..장국영이 죽엇을떄,,제가 장국영의 첫사랑이엇다구여?그것땜에 저 무지많이 욕먹엇습니다,,아니 제가 장국영을 한번이라도 만난적이 잇어야 사랑을 하든 말든 하죠..여러분과 똑같이 장국영을 배우로서 좋아하는 왕팬인거죠,,그러나 신문 보도엔 제 첫사랑이라고 나갓습니다,,ㅎ,참 놀랍죠? 

셋째,,지난번 완전한 사랑으로 3년만에 재기할때,,,기자분들이 촬영장에와서 회식을 하며 기자발표회할때,,,연예계에 동성애자가 또잇는지 애기해달라 하더이다,,난 그런사람 만나본적도 업고 누군지도 모르며 설사 안다쳐도 얘기할 필요가 업다 ,묻는 사람이 더 이상한거 아니냐,,라고 하니,,기자분들이 먼저 자신들의 정보망에 걸려잇던 소위 ,,카더라 명단을 얘기하며 그냥 네라고 확인만 해달라하더이다,,솔직히,,인터넷상에 떠도는 루머처럼 그정도는 나두 듣고잇엇지만,,,나도 전혀 모르는 이름까지 나와 내가 무척이나 당황햇엇죠,,그래,,이렇게 대답햇죠...동성애자가 어디 따로 마을 지어서 모여사는것도 아니구,,어느시대 어느공간이나,,일반인과 섞여 살고잇는데 연예계라도 예외일수업고 문화계,정치계,종교계,학계,,아니 그냥 일반가정에,,어디에나,잇을수잇는거 아니냐...( 맞는말아닌가여?제 부모가 동성애자가아닌데 전 어디서 튀어 나왓을가여?여러분의 친구, 선배,직장 동료,가족,자식,,누가 동성애자인지 어찌압니까,단 말을 안할뿐이죠,,말한후에 닥칠 무시무시한 차별에 맞서기 힘든거 아닌가여?제가 당한거 보면 잘 아시겟죠?),,이렇게 얘기햇더니... 

다음날 아침 신문에 홍석천 폭탄선언,,연예계 동성애자 또 잇다,,이런 제목으로 기사화되더군여,,, 

어느신문은,,제가 종교 지도자와도 사귀엇다구 나왓어여,,ㅎㅎ,제 친구중에 종교계에 잇다는 말하나로 졸지에 그친구와 제가 사귀게 된거죠,하하,,말이됩니가?그러나 그런 말이 안되는게 활자화되고 여러분에게 알려지니..여러분은 절 볼때 그런 생각을 하시더군여,,ㅎㅎ, 

욕 무진장 먹구 다닙니다,,제가 진짜 그런 녀석이라면 저두 할말업습니다만,,,저 그렇게 살지 않앗습니다,,인간이기에 가끔 실수도 하고 실언도합니다만,,하면 햇다하고 아님 아니다라도 말하며 사는 놈입니다,,,연예인 이거 참,,,웃긴 직업입니다,,한예로 어디서 술한잔 먹구,,친구와 언성이라도 높이면,,다음날 전 술먹으면 성질 X 랄같다고 소문납니다,,술먹고 취해서 주변 사람이 부축해서 나가면,,둘이 뭔일이 잇는걸루 소문납니다,,친한 동료연예인과 맛잇는 집에가서 밥한끼 먹을라치면 ,,어느새,,제 동료는 동성애자로 오해받기도 합니다,,그래서 제가 많이 외톨이가 되죠,,,이젠 아예 많은 사람 같이 아니면 친한 동료에게 밥한번 같이 먹자는 얘기도 못합니다,너무 친한 동생이엇는데,,좀 유명해지니,,저랑 연락하는게 혹시라도 이상한 소문 날가봐 그렇게 못합니다,,슬픈일이죠..이게 사람사는 맛이 나겟습니까,,,99명 명단에 끼지도 못한 B급(아,오해는 마십쇼,,다른분들도 다 b급이라는게아니라,,.저스스로 생각해도 그들이말하는 A급연예인이 아닌.다시말해 스타가 아니니까여,,광고주가 전혀 신경두 안쓰는,,ㅎㅎ,)연예인이 이럴진데...99명의 스타들한텐 오죽 말들이 많겟습니까,,남 얘기좋아하는 이사회에서 눈덩이처럼 불어나는 쓸데업는 소문들에 신경쓰다보면,,연예인 그거 못해먹구 살짓입니다,,자기주장 강하면 건방지다하고,,시키는대로 하면 머리가비엇다하고 한작품 히트못치면 맛이갓다하고 나이가 한살두살 먹어가면 퇴물이라하고 사랑하다 헤어지면,,,바람둥이 색마라하고 좀더 나은 모습 보여주려 성형하면 성형중독이다 인조인간이다하고 그냥 뭘해도 꼬투리잡히는거죠,,아니 이세상에 그리 완벽한 인간이 몇이나잇을가여?누구나 허물이잇고 모자람이잇고 그런걸 함께채우주고 감싸주고 도와주고 박수쳐가며 용기를 북돋아주는게 사람사는 맛아닐가여?..여러분은 그들이보여주는 재능과 열정에 위로받구 눈물흘리고 같이 웃고 세상사는 얘기를 함께하는게 즐거움 아닐가여? 

우리 이제 그만합시다,,다들 좀 진정하구 시끄럽게 떠들지도 말구여...우리 연예인이 실수할수도 잇듯이,,그누구들도 역시 마찬가지일테니까요..믿음,소망 사랑 ,,그중에 제일은 사랑이라죠?믿음이 깨졋어도 소망하는대로 되지않앗어도 사랑하는 마음으로 그 모든걸 서로 이겨낼수잇지않을가여?이렇게 어려운 문제에 닥쳣을땐,시청자와 팬 여러분이 큰 사랑을 베푸는게 진정 아름다운것이 아닌가 생각됩니다,,더이상 알려하지 않으면 더이상 들쳐낼일이업겟죠,,여러분이 사랑한 연예인들 ,,끝까지 믿고 지켜봐주세여,,,실망시켜드리지 않으려 정말 치열하게 노력하는 분들 정말 많답니다,,수많은 동료들,,,유명하든 그렇지 않든 주어진 역에 충실하게 하루하루 살아가는 아름다운 그모든분들께 가슴깊이 제 사랑과 믿음을 전하고싶습니다,,사랑합니다,,힘내세여.. 

아,제가 운영하는 레스토랑이 어느새 게이빠로 소문낫더군여,,절대 아님니다,,누구나에게 열려잇는 공간이죠,,소문이라,,ㅎㅎ,참 우습군여,,다같이 크게웃어보죠,,여러분 개개인 주변에 떠도는 여러분에 대한 소문을 생각하며,,소문에 지친 석천이가,, 



아,빼먹엇네여,,우리 슬픈연가 상우 희선이 정훈이 너무 잘하지 않습니까,,모든 배우들과 스텝들에게 따뜻한 격려 부탁드립니다,,홧팅..