----------------------------------------------------------------------------







어떤분이 지하철에서 용자를 봤다고 글 올린거ㅋㅋ 

어떤 커플이 지하철을 탔는데 마침 자리가 어떤 여자분을 기점으로 좌/우로

딱 한자리씩밖에 안났다고 그랬음. 그래서 그 커플이 찢어져 앉아서 가고 있는데

붙어앉고싶어서 가운데 앉으신 여자분께 자리 좀 비켜달라고 요청했더니 그 여자분이

"안돼 내게 자비란 없다." ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------








- 친구한테 민토앞에서 보자고 했더니 민병철 토익학원 앞에 서있었다는 얘기 









---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











- 누가 버스 탔는데 자리가 없어서 서있는데 너무 힘들어서 

혼잣말로 '앉고싶다 앉고싶다 앉고싶다' 생각하면서 중얼거리다가 

버스가 갑자기 급정거해서 앞에 앉은 할아버지 귀에다가 

'앉 고 싶 다' 라고 속삭인거













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











-철도대학 면접 보러 갔는데 특별하게 보이고 싶어서

팔 ㄴ자 로 만들고 칙칙폭폭 하면서 들어갔는데 바로 탈락















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











-빵집에 망토입고 갔다가 팔없는 애 인줄 알고

빵집 주인이 빵봉지 줄에 묶어서 그 분 목에 걸어준거 
아니라고 말하기도 좀 그래서 빵집 문 어깨로 밀고 나온거 















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------













-좀 전 어느 글에서 본건데 동물다큐프로에서 

엄청 큰 상어 나오니까 보고 계시던 할머니가

"저게 고래냐 상어냐~"하셨는데 

그 순간 다큐 성우가 "저것은 고래상어다"













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------













-아버지가 아들에게 찌질이가 뭐냐고 물어보셔서 

촌스럽고 덜떨어진 사람을 말한다고 말씀드렸대요 

근데 어느날 아버지핸드폰을 우연히봤는데 

자기랑 자기형이 "찌질이1" "찌질이2" 라고 저장되어있더래요 















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------













- 저번에 소라방에서 본글인데 

어떤님이 캔모아에서 빙수먹으려는데 선배한텐가

" **아 지금 모해?"이렇게 문자와서"

아 오빠~ 저 캔모아 빙수 먹으려고요 ^^"이렇게 답장 보냈는데

"**이는 참 알뜰하구나 ^^"하고 답장온거















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------













-어떤 님이 밤새 소드하다가 아빠 오는 소리에 얼른 자는 척 했는데

술 취한 아빠가 그 님 자는 줄 알고 머리쓰다듬으면서

"우리 **이....이렇게 못생겨서 시집은 어떻게 가누,,,,,???" 

하고 목놓아 우셨다는 거 
그 님은소리없이 눈물로 베개를 적셨다고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ



















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











- 남자분들끼리 닭갈비집가서 소주마시면서 닭갈비먹다가

한명이 일어나서 화장실갔다오는데 

옆 테이블에서 그분이 앞치마매고있는거보고 종업원인줄알고

이것좀 볶아달라고해서 그 분 화장실갔다오다말고 

얼떨결에 술취한채로 그거볶고있고 ㅋㅋㅋ

친구들이 그거보고 저새끼 저거 지금 뭐해 이러고 













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









컬투 라디오 사연ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 사연자가 남친이랑 길거리 지나가는데

길바닥에 여자가 쓰러져있었다고 한닼ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 그래서 사연자가 어떡하냐고 막 그러면서

그 여자분한테 다가가는데 갑자기 옆에 있는 포장마차에서 어떤 남자가 나오면서

"저리 꺼져!!!" 라고 소리쳤다고 한닼ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 어이가 없어있는데 

알고보니 그 남자는 쓰러진 여자의 남친이었고ㅋㅋ

여자는 술취해서 쓰러졌던거고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

부축해서 가다가 남자가 오뎅이 먹고 싶어서 술취한 여친 길바닥에

눕혀놓고 오뎅먹으러 들어갔다가 누군가 여친에게 접근하면 

오뎅들고 나와서 꺼지 라고 소리 친겈ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------














티비에서 아웃사이더가 난외톨이 외톨이 그러니까 어떤 할머니께서



"자랑이다 미친놈아" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤 님이 길을 가고 있는데 엄마가 걸어가는게 보인거임 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

그래서 엄마!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 이렇게 완전 크게 불렀는데 보니까 엄마가 아닌거임

그래서 하늘보고 "하... 보고싶다..."ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ순식간에 엄마는 황천길롴ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤분 짜장면 시켜서 먹는데 짜장면에서 장기알이 나온거임.. 그 할아버지들이

두는 그 장기 알ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 그래서 놀래서 전화해가지고 "주인장!!!!!! 여기 짜장면에서

장기알이 나왔음ㅡㅜ!!!!!!!!!!!" 이러니까 주인이 한 3초동안 정적.......................그러다가

"네!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!축하드립니다!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~탕수육에 당첨되셨군여!!!!!!"ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ














---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------














엄마한테 문자로 '엄마 나 독서실에서 새벽2시까지 공부할꺼니까 걱정하지마.'

이랬는데 엄마 답장 '충격과 공포다'














---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












전에 테크노마트 직원이 "손님 그거 안사실꺼면 만지지마세요" 이러길래

"야이 시발 깝치면 이 매장 사버린다" 그랬더니 조용...........

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ














---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------














울아빠 술마시고 왔는데 언니더러 군대 언제가냐고 한거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ언니울었음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ














---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------














어떤분이 현관문에 그 우유 넣어주는 구멍（?）있잖아요 거기서 우유배달 오는게

신기해서 새벽에 기다렸다가 아저씨가 우유 넣어줄때 아저씨 손목 잡았다가

아저씨 완전 으어어어앜어커엉커엉어어엉엌컼어어컼엌!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

비명지르면서 자지러지셨다곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ














---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------














ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ어떤 어린 여자애가 아빠랑 목욕탕을 갔는데 딸이 아빠 거시기보고

아빠 이건뭐야? 이러니까 아빠가 응~이건 아빠한테만 있는거야 이랬는데 탕안에 어떤

아저씨한테 가서 거시기잡고 우리 아빠꺼야 내놔 이랬다는겈ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












내 친구 봉사활동 요양원 갔다가 치매걸린 할머니가 응가했다고 기저귀 갈아달래서

갈아주려고 바지 갈아벗길려는데 "오빠 이러지마"한겈ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤 쭉방인이 코코볼을 먹을라고 그릇에 담았는데 조카 개사료 같이 생겨서 그릇 바닥에

두고 개처럼 코코볼만 쳐먹쳐먹하고 있었는데 그걸 본 그 오빠님이 우유를 그릇에 따라오시더니

"우유랑 같이 쳐먹어 개같은년아"이랬다곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ고마워오빸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤 사람이 버스를 탔는데 폰이 떨어져서 못찾겠어서 앞에 사람한테 잠깐 폰을 빌려서

자기 폰으로 전화해서 폰 다시 줍고 앞에 사람한테 폰을 되돌려주고 자기폰 열어보니까

모르는 사람한테 부재중 통화가 온거임!! 그래서 누구지? 이런 마음으로 다시 걸어서

"누구세요?" 이러니까 앞에 사람이 '뭐 이런 병신이 다있어...' 

이런 표정으로 전화받으면서 돌아봄ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤분이 있는데 집이 엄해서 남자친구 사귀는걸 싫어하신데요 근데 막 어느날 데이트하고

남자친구가 집앞까지 데려다 주다 아빠를 만난 거임 그래서 아빠가 막 "너..너..누구?!"

막 이러니까 그 분이 무서워서 "웅! 아빠 밑에서 만났는데 앞이 안보이셔서 위에까지 데려다

달라고하셔서! 데려다주고올게!" 이랬는데 남자친구한테 너무 미안한거임 그래서 살짝 남자친구를

쳐다봤더니 폭풍장님연깈ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ눈에초점없고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

손떠듬떠듬거리곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












수업시간에 방구꼈는데 태도점수 깎임












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤 님 엄마가 문자로 [오늘 저녁 뭐 먹고싶냐]이래서 그 님이 [삼겹살]

이러니까 엄마 답장 [그래? 난 카레 먹고싶어서 카레했다]ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

엄마 왜 물어봐욬ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤님 아버님이 밤에 술취해서 들어오셔서 발씻으려고 세면대에 왼쪽발을 올려놨음

근데 오른쪽발을 보더니 "아이고 이쪽 발이 나와있네"하면서 오른쪽발 올리다

병원에 실려감ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ아버님ㅜㅜㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤분이 친구네서 칼쓰고 "OO아 이거 어디다 꽂아?"했더니

친구가 "니 배에다가" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












수학샘이 칠판에 수학문제 적고

"이거 맞춰봐"했는데 어떤애가 지우개 던져서 칠판에 적혀있는 문제에 적중시킨거ㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











장동건 실물을 봤는데 '흠.. 그냥그렇네' 생각하면서 

옆자리에있는 남친봤는데 웬 오징어가 팝콘을 먹고있었다고...















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









신종플루로 조퇴 한 번 해보겠다고ㅋㅋ

드라이기로 귀 데피고 양호실가서 체온 쟀더니 80도 나왔다던 고등학생













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









어디 카페에선가 본 얘긴데 아마 에피소드일듯.... 

어떤 님이 남친이랑 있는데 너무너무 방구가 나올 것 같아서

"사랑해!!"큰 소리로 외치며 방구를 뿡 뀌게 됐는데 남친이 하는 말이

"뭐라고? 방구 소리때문에 못들었어"









---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











눈작은 친구랑 같이 스티커 사진 찍었는데 잡티제거 기능 누르니까

그 친구 눈 사라졌다고 했던 얘기ㅋㅋㅋ









---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











어떤 분이 지하철 타고 가는데 앞쪽에 커플이 앉아 있었대긔. 여자가 애교 존트 섞어서 코맹맹이 소리로 "자기야~~ 나 파마머리 한거 오때? 별로 안 어울리는 거 같징 ㅠㅠ " 

이랬는데 남자가 " 넌 생머리도 안 어울려" 사람들은 빵터지고 














---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









어떤 님이 코 성형하러 갔는데 수술할 때 꼭 잠들게 해달라고 했는데

의사가 안해주고 암튼 몽롱하지만 의식이 있는 상태.

그래서 그거 안해줬다고 의사한테 "너 날 속였어"이러곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

의사가 중간에 전화받으러 나가려고 하니까 "너 내 코에 집중안해?" 이러고ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

또 중간중간에 "화이팅, 화이팅" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









신혼부부가 늦은 밤에 위에 작은 뚜껑만 열리는 렌트카 타고 가는데 

신부가 그 뚜껑 열고 머리만 쏙 내밀고 가고 있었긔 

근데길가에 노부부가 손을 마구 흔들길래 차 멈췄더니 

갑자기 놀래시면서 미안하다고 그냥 가던길 가라고 

택신 줄 알았다고..ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ











---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------








어떤 님이 아부지 핸드폰 사셨을때 자기 이름 "이쁜 딸♡"로 저장해 놓으셨대긔

근데 며칠 있다가 아버지 폰 확인해보니 그냥 "딸"로 바뀌어있었따곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------










어떤 님이 꿈을 꿨는데 용 세마리가 승천하는 꿈을 꾼거임.

날 밝자마자 복권 샀는데 다 꽝일 뿌니고....

낙심해선 너구리우동 사고 집에 가서 뜯었는데 다시마가 세개 들어있었다고









--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 











어떤분이 교수님께 성적 정정 메일 보내고 난 후에 뭐 확인하려고 발신함 들어가서 보니까

[ 교수님, 저에게 b를 주셨습니다.] 라고 해야하는데

[교수님, 저에게 b를 주셨습디다.] 라고 써서 보냈었다고 했긬ㅋㅋㅋ











---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------













어떤 분이 빨간 코트에 까만 어그 신고 나가니까

남친이 "너 영의정 같다" 한거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











어떤분이 엄마랑 배스킨 라빈스를 갔대요. 

가서 점원한테 "엄마는 외계인 주세요" 그랬는데

뒤에 있던 엄마가

"엄마는 됐다니까!!" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 엄마 설레발 작렬















--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 











영화관에서 친구랑 영화보다가 배아파서 잠깐 화장실갔다가 자리로돌아와서 

친구귀에다 대고 "나 똥 2키로 쌌따"이랬더니 

알고보니 친구가 아니고 어떤아저씨 ㅋㅋ 

아저씨왈 "수고하셨어요" ㅋㅋ









---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











한참 카카오 99%초코렛 이거 유행할 때 어떤 분이 

그거 한 알을 술드시고 주무시는 아버지 입에 넣어드렸대요.ㅋㅋㅋ
근데 담날 아침 드시면서 아버지 하시는말

'이제 술을 끊어야겠어. 어젯밤엔 쓸개즙을 토했지 뭐야.'ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------













옛날에 어떤님이 길가다가 고딩불량배들을 만났는데 흠칫해서 피해가려고 하니까

걔네가 "야 일로와봐" 이랬대긔 근데 그 분이 "야 날라와봐" 이렇게 듣고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

어떡할까 한참 고민하다가 새처럼 양팔을 펴서 나는 시늉 하면서 다가갔대긔ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

그랬더니 애들이 미친여자인줄 알고 도망침 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ













---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



어떤님이 신종플루걸려서 집에서 쉬는데 친구가 핸드폰 샀다고 해서 무슨 핸드폰 샀냐고 문자보냈더니

답문이 [아몰레드 니플루라메 갠찬?]이러고 왔대긔 네이버에서 계속

"아몰레드 니플루라메" 검색했다곸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤님이 엄마한테 죠낸 혼나고 내복차림으로 쫓겨나서ㅋㅋㅋ

새벽4시까지 계단에 앉아있었는데 신문배달하는 아저씨가 그거 보고 깜짝 놀라서

악!!!!!!!!귀신이야!!!!!!!!!꺼져!!!!!!!!꺼져!!!!!!하면서 신문으로 후려팬겈ㅋㅋㅋ















---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












어떤 쭉빵인이 버스를 탔는데 할머니가 파를 놓고 내린거임.

그래서 할머니한테 "할머니 파 놓고 내리셨어요!"하고 파 던져드렸는데

옆에 있던 할머니가 "내껀대"한거












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












술먹어서 엄마한테 집에 늦게간다고 문자하는데

술취해서 오타가 잘 안보였다

담날 보낸문자함보니까 "애미나늦어요"

집에들어가서 10년맞을꺼 옴팡지체 처맞았다












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












이거 민호（샤이니）가ㅋㅋㅋㅋ드림팀에서 말했던건데 풀버전임 ㅋㅋㅋ

어떤 식당에 조카 험악한 아저씨들이 들어와서 직원들이 막 쫄아있었음

근데 그 중에 어떤 아저씨가 아줌마!!!!여기물!!!!!이러는거임 그래서

아줌마가 쫄아서 막 물을 갖다줬음 그 아저씨들이 막 삼겹살도 달라고 해서

삼겹살도 갖다줬음 근데 갑자기 그 아저씨가 벗어 이러는거임 그래서

아줌마가 네?.....이러니까 벗어!!!!!! 그러길래 그 아줌마가 콧물눈물찔찔

짜면서 앞치마를 벗었는데 그 아저씨갘ㅋㅋㅋㅋ조카 당황하면서 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

"버섯!!! 버섯달라고 버섯!!!!!"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ이래서 그 아줌마

쪽팔려서 버섯 갖다주고 퇴근하셨음












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------














나 고딩땤ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

우리 큰오빠가 여친?이랑 가면서 나 쌩까길래

가서 "자기야 이 년 누구야? 실망이야 시발러마!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

이러고 조카 토꼈다가 집와서 냄비로 맞을뻔함 

둘째오빠 작은오빠 아니었으면 나 죽을뻔












---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------












작년에 지하철 타는데 스텝 타이밍 놓쳐서 목낌 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

머리는 산발된채로 지하철 안에 있는 사람이랑 아이컨텍함...

아직도 기억한다 방구낄것같은 표정으로 날 바라봤던 승객들ㅋㅋㅋ

기관사아저씨 문 늦게 열어줘서 나 연극인마냥 핏대세우며 그 사람들과

서먹한 시간 보냄 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ아 문열라고 노력하지나 말껄 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

괜히 더 어색한 몸부림으로 사람들 시선만 끔 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ








---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











































출처-네이트판