편의상 음슴체를 사용하겠습니다!
글의 표현상 욕설이 조금나옵니다ㅠㅠ(엄마가욕을엄청잘하심)





1. 고1때 엄마랑 가벼운문제로 싸우게됬음
근데 울엄만 요상한걸 걸고넘어지면서 욕하는게 특기셔서(어머니죄송..)
그 소소한ㄴ일이 엄청커져서 급기야는 내가 내방에서 절대안나올거라는 유치한선언을하게만듬ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
금출선언?을한지 20분도안되서 엄마가 노크를하심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
난 내가이겼다는생각으로 엄마가 문을 여시는걸지켜봄ㅋ 근데 비닐봉투하나를 ㅈ던지시긔 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

나: 머야?
엄마 : 니화장실임

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ이러고 츤츤하게 방문을닫으심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
but 그날아침부터 싸운거라서 이미 첫용변은 말끔히 비운상태... 먹은게없으니 빠지는것도없었음
근데 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ엄마가 점심나절에 갑자기 치킨,피자,족발을시키심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
(내가환장하는것 베스트삼 ㅠㅠ)
우리집형편이 베스트삼을 한번에시켜먹을 형편이 안됬던때였음...(눈물) 뭐지?하고 의아해했는데
알고보니 엄마가 홧김에 '너가어디까지참나보자'하고 다시키신겈ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
배달받고 그걸 내방문앞에서 동생불러다가 같이먹는거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
왠지모르지만 너무억울해서 눈물이낫음...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

엄마가 내 우는소리를듣고 나와 접촉을시도함...

엄마 : 야 먹고싶지? (엄만저한테야라고합니다...)
나 : ...어
엄마 : 기다려봐 줄게

레알ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ어머니가 이토록 고맙고사랑스러운존재라는걸 다시한번실감했음..
근데 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
문틈으로 치킨,피자,족발 전단지가 순서대로들어오는거 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
엄마 킬킬거리면서 맛있게먹으라하심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
결국 난 상처받은자존심에 숨죽여울었음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ(그날결국다못먹고 절편먹음...)



2. 울엄마가 부부싸움을 화려하게하는편임...
아빠한테 하이클래스의 자작욕을 하시기도하고 부부싸움하면 엄마폰안부시고 아빠폰부심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
아예 피를 말려 죽이시려는 생각인지... 암튼 엄청심하심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
하루는 아빠가 엄마랑 엄청싸우고 12시안에 들어오겠다, 하고 나가시구 11시 50분을 막 넘긴상태였음
엄마가 갑자기 약상자를꺼내더니 저녁이라고써있는약만 다뜯어모으심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
그것들을 휴지통에 주섬주섬버리더니 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
당시 어리던 나한테 쿨하게말하심

엄마 : 나 이거 다먹고 누워있는데 반응없다고 해라

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ엄마 안락사 위장하심 ㅠㅠ
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ아빠 12시5분쯤에 오셨는데 깜짝놀라서 엠블란스부르려고하고 엄마는곤히잠들고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ나중에 엄마가 코골아서 진상을알게되심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 아빠 거짓말 죄송해여...




3. 일요일이었음ㅋㅋㅋ 내가 그날 아침으로 혼자 계란찜을해먹었는데 
모르고 계란껍질을 싱크대에 아무렇게나 버렸음....
그래놓고 킬킬거리면서 컴퓨터를하고있는데 엄마가 슥 문을열고들어오심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
근데 진짜 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 영화 친구였나? 
암튼 완전 가오잡은ㅁ목소리로 내뒷통수에다 대고 속삭이심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

엄마 : 야..
나 : 헉깜짝이야 왜?
엄마 : 너싱크대에 계란껍질버렸냐...?
나 : 응ㅋㅋㅋㅋ아맞다 ㅠㅠ미안해
엄마 : 야ㅡㅡ너인생그렇게살지마
나 : 어?ㅋㅋㅋ무슨 갑자기 인생이야 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
엄마 : 인생그렇게살지말라고ㅡㅡ인생똑바로살아라 아시발

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ이렇게말하고 쿨하게문닫고나가심ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
계란껍질땜에 인생충고받음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ이게머얏!!




4. 중3때 어느날 엄마가 치과때문에 아침에 저에게 학교끝나면문자하라고하심.
효녀인 본인은 종례가 끝나자마자 칼같이 문자를햇음.
당시에는 왠지모르게 친구들앞에서 문자를 빨리치면 우월해보였으므로(응?) 일부러 친구들쪽을 바라보며
촤라락~ 엄마에게 문자를날렸음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
근데 1분도안되서 전화가옴ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 엄마가 다짜고짜 소리지르면서 욕을하심 ㅠㅠ
알고보니까 '엄마나이제끝났어'에서 '나'의 'ㅏ'가빠진거임 ㅠㅠ '엄만이제끝났어'라고 보냄 ㅠㅠ
(실화에여...)









아 이거 나만웃기면 어떡하지 초조하다ㅠㅠ
글구 넘귀여운울엄마사랑해!!!!