속상하고 우울한 마음에 하소연 이라도 할까하구 왔어요..몇번 고게에 글쓰구 용기도 얻고 기쁨도 얻었거든요 근데 3일전 일이 터졌네요..심각한건 아니지만 유.방암 환자입니다..항암 11차까지 했고 겨드랑이 전이가 있는 상태에 염증 생겨서 방사선 33차까지도 했구요..이게 중요한게 아니구나...3일전에 형부가 할얘기 있다고 밖으로 잠시 나가쟤요..또 무슨 일이지 했는데 첫 조카가 저땜시 상처받아서 말 안하는 거래요 들어보니 둘째조카 때렸다고 하대요?  근데 그건 오해였거든요...그 얘긴 조카테 말한다고 넘어갔는데 형부가 제가 걱정 된담서 많이 울었대요?ㅎㅎ...첨에 엇니네 올때 얼마나 눈치보며 살았는데...지금도 봅니다..그러더니 자기가 나같은 사람 많이 봤대요?  인터넷도 찾아보고 주위 얘기도 듣고 내 상태가 어떤지 잘 안다고 하더라구여?ㅋ 안보고도 아는게신기...그러더니...저 이말듣고 진짜 망치로 뒷통수 몇대 맞은 기분이 들대요..머라냐면 "난 처제가 오래 살았음 좋겠어 그냥 지금은 생명만 연장 해주는거야" 이러는데ㅋㅋ 저 시한부 인생 살았나요?  아직 수술안했다고ㅋ이렇게 말하는데 진짜...내가 죽을병 걸렸냐고..많이 말한거 같은데...죽을날이 얼마 안남았나 보네요..ㅎㅎ;; 그날 저녁...병원 다니면서 쓰는 카드 형부가 엇니테 얘기했다고 하더니 빌려감...3시간 지나서...50만원씩 두번 결제...100만원 긁었네요ㅋㅋ...것도 병원다님서 쓰라고 엇니가 준 카드인데ㅋ..이게 걱정 하는 건가요??  어떻게 병원 치료비 내는 카드를 본인 술먹는데 쓰나요...10마넌 긁음 마니 긁었네 이럴판에..100마넌 이라니요..ㅋㅋㅋ 기가 막히네요..형부지만 진짜ㅋㅋㅋ..이럴 수 있나요??  엇니는 이미 시댁에 못살겠다고 얘기한 상태구 저도 엄마테 형부가 병원카드 술 마시는데 100마넌 긁었다고 얘기 했네요...제가 쓰는 거지만 10만 이상 병원비 나와도 3개월 할부 해도대?  묻거든요..필요한거 살때도 카톡 보내구 얼아 결제 될거구 필요한 물건 산다구요..그렇게 벌벌 떨면서 쓰는데...참........카드 준 저도 ㅂㅅ이지만 그걸 술 마시는데 쓴 형부도 용서가 안돼네요..100만 긁고 다시 결제 시도 했다가 분실신고 떠서 엇니테 전화했다네요...정지 풀어달라고 술값 내야한다고...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅆㅂ...잠시나마 좋게 본 제가 미친년 이었네요...참 돈도 빌려 갔어요 10마넌... 아프고 나서 집에서 논지 11개월차에요...막장이네요 이젠ㅋㅋ..엇니도 질렸고 헤어질 각오는 했구요...매번 자잘하게 저러구선 용서해달라 잘못했다 헤어지자고만 하지 말아달라 이러는데ㅋ..어느 여자가 좋아 하겠나요..자그만치 10년...그렇게 살았어요 울엇니...이제 편해져도 되지 않아요??  일도 안해 그러면서 돈은 펑펑써..아;;  진짜 형부라고 부르고 싶지도 않네요..새벽인데 급 우울해져서 쓴거라 두서없는거 이해해 주세요..폰으로 쓴거라..엔터 죄송해요...그래도 쓰고나니 속은 좀 편해졌네요..