이런저런 하고싶은 말들이 너무많지만 다 생략하고 한두마디만 하고 3편연재하겠습니다
덧글달아주시고 관심가져주시는 분들 한분한분 다 감사하구요 오유분들이 친히 다른싸이트 포탈
열어주셔서 페이스북 웃대 엽혹진 쭉방 여시 인스티즈 등등 몰래 덧글다챙겨보고있..음 설렘ㅎ..

1.알칸소라는 깡촌은 말그대로 갑중의갑 차를몰고 길을나가면 그냥 길거리에 소들이 걸어다님ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
이건뭐 소가 나인지 내가 소인지……… 어느날도 다름없이 스쿨버스를 타고 집에 가고있었음.
스탑싸인에서 버스가 멈춰섰는데 갑자기 통 하는 경쾌한 소리와함께 털썩하고 뭔가쓰러졌음 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
애들다 우어어러얼어ㅓㅓ어ㅓㅇ 하면서 유리창으로 쳐다보니 소한마리가 쓰러져있고 저멀리서 뚱뚱한 할아버지가 막 뛰어왔음
(회상)
"마 카우우우우ㅜ웅 오우노오오오ㅗ오 마카우우우ㅜㅇ우웅 스딻!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"내소"
할아버지도  이런일은 처음이라 많이당황했는지 운전기사에게 폭풍눈물을글썽이며 말을이어갔음
"아퀜 뷜륍잇!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 아퀜뷜립잇!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!마 뷉!!!!!마뷉!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"내소…..내소!!!!!!!!!!!! 하씨발!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
운전기사아저씨도 당황했는지 미안하다며 연거푸 사과를했고 
소시체를 치워야 차가움직이고 그래야 우리가 집에갈수있었기 때문에 어쩔수없이 두분이서 서로 눈물을 닦아주며 소시체를 치우기로함  난 위닝을하지못해 버스에서 빡친채로 소리질렀음
"카우 슬립 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"분명히 소가 차가 멈춘후에와서 받은거같은데 이론적으로따지고보면 그정도의 강도에선 소가죽은거같지가않아!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!위닝!!!!!!!!!!!!!!내위닝!!!!!!!!!"
하지만 버스안에 감금되있던내소리가 들릴일은 없었고
소주인아저씨가 소의마지막길을 빌어줘야한다며 소의 배를 쓱쓱 쓰다듬으며 뭐라중얼거림 
근데 갑자기 소가 "이..하으흥이힝" 하면서일어나는거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
미친소새끼아직도생각하니까빡치네…..
그러자 갑자기 차안에있던애들이"와아아아ㅏ아ㅏㅅ 써니!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!뫄이꽛!!!!!!!!!! 아이뉴윗!!!!!!아이뉴윗!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
대충 내가 소가 자고있다고 소리지른걸 들은 애들은 
이번엔 내가 소와 교감을할줄아는줄알고 나를 소의신으로 추앙하기시작했음
지겹다진짜 이젠 하늘론부족해 소까지 다스릴줄아는 동양인이되었고
결국 소는 지갈길가고 나는 그날이후 한달넘게 스쿨버스가 소를지나쳐갈때마다
"써니!!!!!왔이쯔 뒛 콰우 쒜잉 허?허?허?"
"야 저소가뭐래?응?뭐래?소가뭐라고말함??응??"
이따위소리를 들어야만했다

2. 내가 매일매일 점심시간마다 김밥만싸간건아니었음 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
뭐유부초밥도싸갔고 주먹밥도싸갔었고…누드김밥도……. 스팸말이ㄷ… 
하지만 단연 그중에 당시 사람들을 멘붕으로 몰아넣었던건 울엄마표 멸치주먹밥과 김부각이었닼ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
멸치주먹밥은 말그대로 주먹밥에 짜잘한멸치들이 쏙쏙박혀있었는데 애들은 멸치의 눈알과 머리까지씹어먹는 나를 괴물보듯이봤고 작성자는 멸치도 버섯도 좋아했기에 아무생각없이 먹었다 (나중에 대참사가일어남)
하지만 나에게도 조금은 이해할수없었던 김부각…………….하아는사람은 아는김부각…….. 
김부각은 어떤곳은 달고 어떤곳은 짠게 매력포인트였는데 항상애들은 후라이드 악토푸스워러 라 불렀고 ㅡㅡ
아무리 씨위드라고외쳐도 믿어주지않았다…. 
내말보단 악토푸스 교장의말이 더 신뢰가있었는가봉가 
여튼 이 달달한 바삭한김부각의 매력을 모르는 애들이한심해 조금씩 나눠주는데 망할 나눠주는부분마다 짠거임 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ내가먹는부분은 분명히단데 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
아무리 단곳을주려해도!!!!!!! 아무리조금만베어먹고바로그다음부분을줘도!!!!!!!!!!! 난 정확하게 설탕과소금의경계선까지만 먹었고
"오우마와꽛아아아ㅏㅅ!퉽루투투퉤투퉷 써니!!!!!!잇쯔 투 쏠틔!!!!!!오마이깠!!!!!!!!!!!"
"써"
"유 마우스 클린? 스튜핏"
"니양치했냐? 야원래 양치하고먹으면 뭐든써 ㅡㅡ 어휴 멍청한새끼"
결국 먹은 애들은 모두 날 죽일듯이 노려봄
결국 아이들에게 거짓말을 치고 맛없는 김부각을 나눠줬단 이유로 교장실에 갔고 
교장선생님에게 갔고 교장선생님에게 김부각 두장을 뺏김 ㅡㅡ 
내가장담하는데 분명 컴퓨터하면서 ㅉ챱챱챠뱌챱챱챱 하면서먹었을꺼임

3. 미국에서 맞는 첫 생일날 이었음………ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
엄마는 나와제일친한친구 여섯일곱명정도만불러와서 생일파티를 열어준다고했음 그래서 난 아침에 레디아년한테 귓속말로
"써니스벌스데이 투데이 컴"
"나 귀빠진날 오늘이니까애들한테 말하지말고 선물꼭들고 놀러와" 라고했는데 
그 또라이가
"오마이까아ㅏㅏㅏ앗!!!!!!!있쯔 써어니쓰 뿰쓰뛔이!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!허뤠이!!!!!!!!!!!에블바디!!!!!!!!파리투낫!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"얘생일 오늘이래ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ야!!!!!!!!빨떄꼽으러가자!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!허레이!!!!!!!" 
그래서 졸지에 하교후 애들 50여명을 끌고 집으로가게되었음………………
우리엄마는 나의 맑은 초인종소리를 듣고 문을 활짝열면서
"해피버쓰데이 마 도털!!!!!!!"
"생일축하해  내ㄸ………."
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ50여명의 애들이 똘망똘망한눈으로 서있는걸 보게됨
…………… ㅌㅌ 엄마미안………아직도 엄마의 눈빛이 잊혀지지않아…..
그이후에 아이들은 김밥과 유부초밥 명란젓주먹밥 멸치주먹밥 잡채 불고기를 반강제로 먹고떠남…… 
체한다고 깍두기꺼내주려는걸 간신히 말림…ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ어휴

4. 이건 내절친이엇던 레디아 에게 있었던일인데 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
레디아 아빠는 젊었을 때 도시에서 변호사로일하다 가족과크게 싸운뒤 다떄려치고 농사를지으로 알칸소로 왔음
그러다 여기서 레디아 엄마를 만나 결혼을하게됨 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ그렇게 레디아를낳고 10년동안 가족과연락을안하고지내다가
어찌어찌 연락이되서 다시가족을만나러 뱅기타고 일ㅇ주일동안떠남 ………
난 개쓸쓸하게 레디아를 기다렸고 레디아가 돌아오고나서 한말에 멘붕아닌 멘붕이왔었음.
레디아아빠는 쌍둥이었는데 둘이 똑같이생겼다고함 하지만 레디아는 말만들었지 만난적은없었음 . 
아무생각없이  공항에내려서아빠랑 손잡고 나가는데 아빠가 손을흔들고있는거임 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ나..나니?
당황을한거임ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ자기아빠랑똑같이생긴사람이 둘이니까 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
여기도 내아빠고 저기도 내아빠 심지어 저아빠는 결혼도안해서 자식도없어........... 한집에 할아버지 할머니 아빠1 아빠2 그리고 레디아...
그아빠가 찰리와초콜릿공장에나오는 아오구스투스인가 초콜렛엄청쳐먹던애랑 닮았는데 …….
.똑같이생긴 사람이 둘이라고생각하니 섬뜻했음
레디아말로는 일주일동안그집에지내면서 누가내아빤지를 몰라 아버지를 아버지라 부르지못했다고함…….
또르르르 아직도생각해도 신기함….쌍둥이 애기는 많이 상상해왔고봤지만 내아빠가쌍둥이라면……………ㅎㄷㄷㄷ

5. 이날은 하늘이유독 푸른날이었음ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ실은기억안남ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
여튼 난 가만히 앉아있는데 폴새끼가 또 시비를털기시작함
"써니 알류 쁘롬 노쓰오얼싸우쓰 코리아?"
"니 북에서왔냐 남에서왔냐"
나는 당황했음………..순간 북과남이 너무햇갈리기시작했고…………
미친놈을 상대를 안하려해도 다른아이들도 정말궁금하다는듯 쳐다봐서…..한참을 곰곰히생각하다
"노…노쓰"
 "북한ㅋ" 라고 대답했고 애들은 일동 정적이흘렀다.
정신을 차려보니 또 교장실

"써니 하우디쥬겟투아뭬리카"
"탈북했니?"
도대체 이사람이 나한테 무슨소리를하는지몰랐던나는 걍 "예스 예아 어허 으흠 예스" 라고 대답했고 
우리교장 얼굴이 점점심각해지더니 결국 또다시 아빠를 호출했음........
 아빠는 가족전부의 여권을들고 학교로와야했닼ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ……….또르르르
아빠는 나때매 가족전부가 간첩으로 깜빵에 갈뻔했다며 진지하게 나때매 못살겠다고  
홈스쿨을하는게 어떻냐고물어봤고 그날 난쿨하게 거절함

6. 이건 1화에서 나왔던 대참사인데 
 결국 나를 짱깨라고 놀리던 폴에게 "쌰랍 오어 유어 페이스 씩" "닥쳐 안그럼 니얼굴 아파" 라고 경고를 몇번했지만
선생님이 없으면 틈만나면 나에게와 짱꺠라고 놀렸음 결국 빡이칠대로친나는 
간식시간에 내뒤에서 또 짱꿰ㅔ짱꿰 거리는 폴에게 성큼성큼다가가
 "한번만더 니 주둥아리에서 차이나라는 소리나와봐 그땐 아주 궁댕이 주차삘태니까" 라고 말하고싶었는데
현실은 "쎼이 차이나!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!허????"
"중국 해봐 중국!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 이라고 소릴질렀고
폴은 쫄아서 "차..차이나" 라고말하면 
난 또 빡쳐서 "쎼이 차이나!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!으아아ㅏ아ㅏㄱ 쎼이차이나!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 그랬고 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
그러면 또 폴은 울먹거리며 "차…차이나" 그랬고 난 결국터져서 폴을 주먹으로 마구치며
"쎄이 차이다 원모퇌!!!!!!!!!!!!!쎼이!!!!차이나아라아아ㅏㄺ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
"중국이라고 한번만더말해줘!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 라고말하며 결국 교장실에 불려갔음
교장실에선 의도치않게 묵비권을 행사했고 결국 폴이 차이나라고 놀린건사실이기에 둘다 화해하고나왔음..........
그뒤로 폴입에서 차이나라는 단어를 듣지못했음......

아쓰고나니 재미없네 ㅠㅠ 약빨이 떨어졌나.......약빨충전해서 캠프썰들과 (나중에대참사가일어남) 들고오겠습니다 
덧글 정말 하나하나 다읽고있어요......어휴 쫌설렌다ㅡㅡ